


Advanced Gift Giving

by prettyasadiagram



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Christmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-26
Updated: 2015-12-26
Packaged: 2018-05-09 11:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5537948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyasadiagram/pseuds/prettyasadiagram
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This year, Stiles thinks, he has to step up his gift-giving game.</p>
<p>It’s just really hard to compete with the wife and kids and white picket fence that Scott wakes up to every day, when all Stiles has to offer is a poorly decorated third-floor apartment and a teaching job that barely lets him make ends meet. But, as usual, Stiles has a plan, and it (eventually) involves Derek and his cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advanced Gift Giving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatdamneddame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdamneddame/gifts).



> Look, since it's been forever since I wrote anything, I think the fact that I did in fact manage to finish this by Christmas is pretty fucking impressive. It's even technically still Christmas in both of our time zones, so booyah.
> 
> So, Merry Christmas to the light of my life, apple of my eye, etc., etc. This is for you, thatdamneddame.
> 
> Idea mostly inspired from this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/cat-daddy. Not betaed or proofread particularly carefully, so let me know if any typos persist.

Every year, Scott gets Stiles something for Christmas that he didn’t know he needed. Scott is always spot on and it’s always infuriating, because Stiles peaked at giving gifts to Scott junior year of high school when he presented Scott with a box of condoms that he had purchased three towns away, while wearing a disguise, and being entirely not stealthy.

But, the point is, he did his bro a solid because things were getting real with Kira and Scott just couldn’t find the stones to be prepared just in case. Stiles has never been able to top that moment. (Scott and Kira are still together and to be honest, Stiles credits himself with a bit of that even though Kira ended up being the one providing the first condom, but still. He eased Scott into the mindset that sex could be happening.)

All of that means nothing when Stiles has years of Scott’s gift-giving prowess to compete against. Last year it was a decent set of kitchen knives and now, as a result, Stiles’s first aid kit isn’t almost empty all the time. The emergency room staff have almost forgotten his face. The year before that it was a plane ticket back to Beacon Hills. The year before that it was a truly impressive first aid kid.

This year, Stiles thinks, he has to step up his game.

It’s just really hard to compete with the wife and kids and white picket fence that Scott wakes up to every day, when all Stiles has to offer is a poorly decorated third-floor apartment and a teaching job that barely lets him make ends meet.

 

***

 

Inspiration strikes when Scott complains that he never sees Stiles’s face anymore; both of them too busy for anything other than sporadic ten-minute phone calls between dinner and passing out. Flipping through the truly obscene number of photos he has of Scott’s life, Stiles realizes that the most recent photo Scott probably has of him is six months old when his hair was still buzzed short, which hardly seems fair when Stiles has pictures of Scott and Kira on their family vacation, lazing around their house, playing with their kids, and so on.

Looks like Stiles has a lot of selfies to plan in his future.

 

***

 

For a hot second, Stiles gives serious thought to offering extra credit to his students for participation in this project, but remembers that that might actually be creepy and frowned upon.

Also, he teaches second grade and they hardly need or want extra credit at that age.

Instead, he does the next best thing and roams the halls until he remembers which neighbors 1) he is on speaking terms with and 2) have small children he could borrow.

 

***

 

Apparently, most parents aren’t thrilled with the idea of letting a neighbor borrow their children for exciting photo-taking opportunities. His dad laughs for a full minute when Stiles shares this fact with him.

“Jesus, son,” he gasps. “Were you expecting otherwise?”

Stiles frowns. “Well, I _thought_ that since we were neighbors there would be some trust. Like, not a lot, but some!”

His dad cracks up again and hey, Stiles doesn’t have to take this kind of abuse, so he hangs up.

Five minutes later, his dad texts: _Try pets._

 

***

 

Pets might work even better, Stiles thinks. Pets won’t cry at him or ask him awkward questions. So, once again, Stiles takes to the halls, trying to remember which neighbors 1) he hasn’t already awkwardly approached about using their kid for his own gain, 2) he is on speaking terms with, and 3) have a pet he could borrow.

 

***

 

The first person he can think of that meets all three requirements is Derek Hale, and Stiles is 75 percent sure that Derek can’t stand the sight of him. Things had been been friendly at first—Derek even helped Stiles move in!—and then one day Derek started manfully stalking away anytime Stiles rounded the corner and no one would tell him why.

Derek, for the record, is also hot like burning, deadpan and gruff like someone spits in his coffee every morning, and maybe works in city planning—there are a lot of poster tubes slung over that man’s shoulders, which really emphasize their broadness, is all Stiles is saying—and Stiles has never quite forgotten their first conversation, when things definitely seemed kind of flirty.

So, Stiles is willing to cross his fingers and hope for a Christmas miracle in facing Derek’s disdain if it means he can borrow Derek’s cat, make a kickass Christmas gift for Scott, and maybe figure out where he went wrong.

 

***

 

Well, he’s willing to face Derek after two shots of liquid courage, that is.

 

***

 

The seconds after Stiles builds up the courage to knock feel endless, but when Derek finally opens the door and leans against the frame, Stiles wishes it had been longer. He feels so unprepared for Derek’s . . . everything to be up close and personal again. Jesus, even his stubble looks artfully maintained. And oh god, he still smells like those Mountain Lodge Yankee Candles that he’s pretty sure were made up by tumblr.

Stiles is kind of dazed by Derek’s henley-clad arms and he almost doesn’t respond to Derek saying, “You know that I don’t have kids, right?”

As it is, he gapes a bit, taken aback. “Yes? I know?”

“3A warned me that you were prowling for children.”

“Her name is Nancy, and OK, well, prowling is not the word I would use—”

“Were you not knocking on doors asking if you could use their children in a photo project?”

“I mean, technically that’s accurate, but—”

Derek raises an eyebrow, and even though Stiles doesn’t know him all that well, the skepticism comes through loud and clear.

Stiles heaves a sigh. “Look, can I borrow your cat or not?”

Derek says, “Not,” and closes the door in his face.

 

***

 

Stiles has options. It’s not like the success of this project depends on Derek. James in 6B has a Jack Russell that is an absolute nightmare. Tory in 4A has a very tiny, very loud dog that Stiles has never seen but everyone has definitely heard. Hell, even what’s-his-name in 1A would probably let Stiles borrow his beagle.

But, well, Derek didn’t explicitly tell Stiles to fuck off, so that’s something, right?

 

***

 

And so, an hour later, Stiles is back at Derek’s door.

“Look, it’s for a Christmas project, OK?” he tries again. “I’m recreating my friend’s photos, but since I have neither a wife nor kids, I’m improvising. It seemed like a nicer gift than a video game or whatever grown men are supposed to get each other.”

When Derek still doesn’t say anything, Stiles winces. “It’s a stupid idea, isn’t it? Be honest. Scott’s gonna hate it and think it’s dumb.”

But, maybe there is a Christmas angel or someone watching out for him, because Derek’s brow unfurrows and he says slowly, considering, “Scott? Your friend Scott is married?”

There’s something in Derek’s tone that gives Stiles pause, like he’s missing something obvious, but he just nods. “Yeah, Scott and his wife send me all these great family pictures and all I can send them is proof that I washed my dishes this week.”

Derek cocks his head and kind of smiles. “Want to come in and meet Pumpernickel?”

 

***

 

Pumpernickel has tortoiseshell coloring and is fluffy and looks so precious. She also clearly adores Derek; winding around his ankles and meowing until he bends to scratch at her ears. Stiles immediately wants to clutch at his face and potentially coo.

When Stiles crouches to try to beckon her over, Derek says with a laugh, “Be careful; she bites.” And, true to his warning, when Stiles’s hand is within range, Pumpernickel does indeed take an experimental snap at him, but that’s cool. Stiles has never met a challenge he’s ever backed down from. Making this cat love him shouldn’t be too hard, right?

 

****

 

“So, why Pumpernickel?” Stiles asks while he continues his quest to make said cat fall in love with him. Or at least tolerate his touch. It’s not going terribly well, but at least she’s stopped drawing blood.

Derek honest to god blushes, the tips of his ears turning red, and mutters something about siblings and nieces and Outback Steakhouse, and Stiles is so charmed he doesn’t even make fun of him.

Well, not too much.

 

***

 

Stiles’s grand master plan is to finally use one of those Shutterfly coupons from the grocery store, which means he needs twelve baller photos of him and Pumpernickel. The smart thing to do would be start small—photos in his apartment, mimicking some of the shenanigans Scott and his kids get up to. But, because Stiles’s main philosophy is “go big or go home,” he talks Derek into a field trip to get the appropriate background for the first photo.

And that is how Stiles ends up with Derek at Pier 39 with Pumpernickel in a cat carrier, yowling like she’s being kidnapped.

In retrospect, maybe they should have worked their way up to crowds. The picture, however, is fantastic.

 

****

 

Because Stiles has never crushed on anyone like a normal human being—see his ten-year plan for Lydia Martin—he just casually tries to learn more about Derek without being obvious, which really just leads to him blurting out random facts about himself and hoping Derek will give him something to work with.

It’s not a complete failure of a plan, though. Stiles now knows that Derek has five siblings, none in the San Francisco area; loves peppermint mochas and home renovation shows; and works for some company doing something with environmental engineering that goes right over Stiles’s head.

Of course, in return Derek knows only weird facts about Stiles, like that he wrote a paper on the history of circumcision for his economics class.

No one ever said Stiles was smooth, OK?

 

***

 

Walking Derek to his door, Pumpernickel making quiet but unhappy noises, Stiles thinks about asking if Derek wants to grab a cup of coffee or a sandwich or go see the new Star Wars movie.

He doesn’t, of course; he barely knows the guy and Derek probably thinks Stiles is crazy and, now that they’re on speaking terms again, is just humoring him with this photoshoot business. So, swallowing down his desire to curl up with Derek and Pumpernickel on their obscenely comfortable couch, Stiles just smiles and asks, “You free to do this again on Wednesday?” and then wonders if that was disappointment on Derek’s face.

 

***

 

Stiles doesn’t ask on Wednesday, either. Just cracks awkward jokes with Derek and takes a photo with Pumpernickel looking miserable in a tutu.

 

***

 

By the fifth visit, Pumpernickel has taken to hiding whenever she hears Stiles’s voice, like she knows embarrassing outfits are in store for her. And, well, she’s not wrong. The goal today was to make her wear a tiara and/or costume jewelry, whichever was more likely to leave Stiles’s eyes still in his head.

While Derek is trying to coax her out from under the couch, Stiles takes in the stretch of Derek’s pants across his ass, sends a brief prayer to the universe, and croaks, “Want to get coffee? Give her a chance to calm down?”

Sitting back on his heels, Derek turns to look at Stiles with a small grin. “That sounds nice.”

 

***

 

After that, going out for coffee or froyo or, one magical time, breakfast for dinner at the diner down the street, becomes part of the routine, but Stiles is slowly losing his mind over how much time he spends with Derek. It’s pretty much everything he could have asked for, but for the love of all that is holy Stiles cannot read him. Is Derek flirting? Does Derek even know what expressions his face is making? Why won’t he touch Stiles?

At this point, Stiles would accept a manly pat on the back or something. It’s a bit sad.

 

***

 

After the last photo is taken and Pumpernickel has stalked off to go soothe her wounded pride, Stiles shifts uncomfortably in Derek’s living room, not sure what to do with his hands. He looks to Derek, hoping he’ll say something, but he doesn’t oblige.

Fine. Stiles will just leap on this grenade of awkward for the both of them. “Well, I’ll swing by with the calendar when it comes in. Let you see the fruits of your labor and all that. And thanks, you know, for putting up with me and letting me put use your cat.” He glances at Derek, but Derek is staring at him with something like determination written all over his face. “What?”

Derek mutters something under his breath before striding over and pulling Stiles into a kiss.

Everything is perfect for one glorious moment, before Derek pulls back and says raggedly, “You never said he was married.”

“What?”

“When he surprised you with a visit and you just launched yourself at him. And I—I didn’t know, you guys seemed close—And so—”

Everything's coming together now and Stiles wants to punch himself for standing in his own way. “And I introduced him as my bae. As a joke. Oh my God.”

Derek keeps going, his hands still wrapped around Stiles’s hips. “And then you said Scott was married. And you keep _looking_ at me but never doing anything and I thought I was losing my mind. So—I just—”

Stiles keeps nodding blindly before he realizes that Derek might continue explaining as though they’re still not on the same page, so it seems best to give him something else to focus on.

They’re still kissing when Pumpernickel comes out to see what all the fuss is about.

(The calendar, for the record, comes out great. Scott almost cries and the punch that Stiles’s fist pump earns him is totally worth it.)


End file.
